Fishing for answers

Now that Maddy has the full time BF we are getting to see a few new behaviors from her.  Most are good but a few are about to wear me out.  They will get an idea about how to see each other and just like little kids they are gonna work every angle to try to see if they can get the result they want.

Last week I was able to enjoy the independence streak from Maddy and on Monday for the first time in our lives we sent off an application to camp.  A true away from home 4 day camp this summer.  I am very excited and extremely nervous about that.

We don't live near the BF or where most of her Church and Girl Scout activities are.  Most things are about 25-35 minute drives one way for me.  Since I stay home full time I tell people the one thing I have plenty of is time.  We want Maddy to have a good social life and I am happy to spend the time to take her places.

The BF goes to a YMCA three times a week that has a really good day program for special needs kiddos.  When I first learned about it, I considered it for Maddy.  But then I had to factor in that it is 45 minutes one way from the house.  I am not sure about the cost and honestly I have a lot I am working with Maddy on around the house.  Then we started full force on our website business and that really cut down on the massive amounts of free time I had.  When I look at my calendar and I see that Maddy already for this year has at least something once a month on the calendar until June, I don't worry about her not participating in a day program.


This week Maddy and the BF decided it would be great, wonderful and perfect if Maddy could be at the YMCA in the day program with him.  Maddy comes down the stairs all smiles and that look of mischief in her eyes.  Hey Mom, she asks, do you think it would be a good idea if I could get out of the house more often?  She proceeds to tell me how I could get my work done and she would be out of the house with friends, having fun and learning things.  I explained to her that it just was not feasible for her to attend the day program at the YMCA.  Needless to say, she did not care for my answer.

A few minutes later I hear her in the computer room.  "Hey Dad, do you think it is better for me to be stuck in the house all day or to be out somewhere having fun and learning stuff?"  I am not sure everything she pitched to Mark, but I am sure she gave it her best.  After she left the room, I explained to Mark why I had not pursued the day program and what the hold ups were.  As always Mark had a few helpful things for me to look into and a possibility of making it happen that would work for all of us.

The next morning my phone rings and it is my Mother-in-law.  She wanted to talk to me briefly to let me know about a conversation that she and Maddy had and did not want Maddy to use the Grandmom said routine on me.  Evidently in their daily phone conversation Maddy asked her Grandmom if it was better for a girl to be stuck at home having to watch TV all day or would it be better if she was out of the house three days having fun, spending time with friends, going on field trips and learning things.   Thankfully the MIL did not fall for the trap and knew that Maddy was up to something. 

Maddy and I had a very LONG talk about how it is good to be persistent if you want something, but it is not good when you make other people look bad in trying to get what you want.  I had to explain to her when she tells people she does nothing all day or that all she does is watch TV then it makes me look bad.  We went over all the stuff she does and that we work on to let her know that she does in fact have plenty to do here at home.