From the mouths of babes

This afternoon Maddy and I did some mission work at the Church.  We helped make sack lunches for a homeless shelter in the area.  We also asked that the kiddos (all special needs kiddos) to make a card to go in the lunch.  We were reviewing them before placing them in the sacks.  This was everyone's favorite!!

Where are you???

Yesterday Maddy was supposed to be at church from 11-1 for Hang Time. They open the church for the kiddos to come and hang out and see each other since school is out. Maddy has a friend who was very excited to see her and had spoken to me on the phone about how excited they were to see her at 11 on Thursday.

After her seizure she really needed to sleep so I tried to keep the house as quiet as possible. This meant turning all the cell phones to silent. I knew that the friend would be concerned when we did not show up so I tried their cell phone. When they did not answer I called their grandparents to let them know what had happened.

Around 12:30 when Maddy had finally shaken off the seizure and after effects I went to check my voice mail and the message I had received was priceless.


Friend: Yeah, um...you said you would have Maddy here at 11. Well, um....I have been waiting and you are not here. I am waiting, um....and it is like 11:02 so I was wondering where you are.

I wish!!

Yesterday when we were out and about running errands I had to get cash. When Maddy and I run errands she will typically sit in the front seat with her Ipod and try to forget that her embarrassing mother is with her.

I pulled up the to ATM machine, put in my card, punched in all the information. Just before the money appeared Maddy happened to look over at me. When the money showed up she exclaimed "Hey look free money!!".

Kids and words

When little kids are learning new words funny things can happen.

Maddy used to say never instead of ever. Her favorite thing to say was that we were the best parents she never had.

This weekend we were at the in-laws house and my nephew was explaining to us about a hard part in his video game. He said that the bums eyes always got him. He told us how they would hide in the grass and then jump up and yell BUMS EYES!!

Turns out they were yelling Banzai.

My new favorite website

I love this site and the comments. I have actually thought about digging up some old photos that would definitely belong here.

Awkward Family Photos

Enjoy!!

The math skills must run in the family

I am not good at math. I am really, really, really bad at math. I know this and I don't even bother pretending anymore that I can maybe do a math problem. This weekend I got a glimpse of Maddy's math skills.

There is a boy in Maddy's church class (well a couple actually) that have become quite fond of her. So depending on the week and who is in attendance at church we have conversations regarding the various boys and their attempts at courting her.

This past week one of the boys declared his love for Maddy. Maddy decided that he would not be good for her because he is 20 and she is just 16. Enjoy the conversation below and the math skills that inherited from her mother.

Maddy: I think he might be too old for me

Me: I agree, he is a very nice boy but 20 is too old for you now

Maddy: If he is 20 now, by the time I am 20 he will probably be like 35 or something!


So if you need any help with math you know where not to come!

Literal Life

One of the things that goes with a hubby that writes screenplays is the random script/movie type magazines. This past week we received one in the mail. It was laying on the kitchen counter face down and there was an advertisement for the new Cohen Brothers movie A Serious Man.

The advertisement had the picture above and across the top it said BEST PICTURE.
Maddy is walking past the kitchen counter and the words best picture catch her eye. She picks up the magazine, looks at the picture, looks again and says "Well that is just stupid. Why would anybody think that is a good picture, much less the best picture?".

Once the hubby and I could stop laughing we explained to her what best picture meant in this context.

Amusing look at Obama Healthcare

The American Medical Association has weighed in on the new Obama health care proposals.

The Allergists voted to scratch it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves. The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

The Obstetricians felt they were all laboring under a misconception.. Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted. Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, Grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it. Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing. The Internists thought it was a bitter pill to swallow, and the Plastic Surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter...."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but the Urologists were pissed off at the whole idea. The Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas, and the Cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to the ass holes in Washington .

Things that crack me up every time

There are certain things that crack me up every time here are a few of them.

First the entire movie Ace Ventura When Nature Calls has me in stitches it is so very silly. If I could link the whole movie I would but below is prolly my favorite scene.



The other movie is Kingpin. This movie is so crude and yet so funny.





When people put up fake reviews on Amazon and people run with it is always funny. First there was Three Wolves One Moon and now The Secret.

Sometimes you wish you had never asked

Yesterday while at my in-laws the following conversation took place. My sister-in-law had just arrived and asked what most people would consider to be an easy question.


Sister-in-law (SiL): I am thirsty can I have a bottle of water?

Mother-in-law (MiL): No, no you don't want a bottle of water, the water from my tap is filtered it is just as good.

SiL: Umm, ok, is it cold?

MiL: Well no, but you can put some ice in it. Don't worry the ice is filtered water as well from the fridge.

SiL: Can't I just use the water from the fridge if it is filtered?

MiL: No, don't do that the use the water from the tap.

SiL: *Gets glass down* Well they should be the same so I will get it from the fridge.

*Everyone has now chimed in and half are chanting fridge and the others are chanting from the tap*

SiL: Fine, fine I will get some from both

My Husband: Don't do that the water from the filter at the sink is hot water.

SiL: What?!!

MiL: *about to have a heart attack* NO, NO, that water is cold he is making that up.

SiL: Finally gets the water in the glass and sits down. *The water is in a decorative cup* EWWW this water is BROWN!

MiL: What?!! No that can not be.

Me: I think the cup is making the water look brown.

MiL: My water is white not brown, here let me get a different glass I will show you.

Me: Ummm..wouldn't white water really be no fat milk?

MiL: *Pours water into different glass* See I told you my water is not brown, it is white.

Me: I kinda think it is clear not white

MiL: Whatever

My SiL sits down to drink her white water and my MiL says.....

We have bottled water in the outside cooler.

Bible in the car

I grew up in a very small Texas town. This was the kind of town where everyone knew you were gonna do something bad even before you did. The town was also very Southern Baptist, but they were gracious enough to allow other Christian religions in town. I remember receiving biblical gifts for graduations from the churches and such. There was always an abundance of little bibles. I have owned at least one of these my entire life it seems. It became a habit for me to put one of these bibles in the glove box of my car.

The other day Mark and I are in his car headed somewhere and I see a license plate with a bible verse reference on it and I became curious about the verse. I knew full well that unless I had placed a bible in his car he did not have one and even though I knew the punch line to story I could not help myself.

Me: Do you have a little bible in your car?

Mark: What?

Me: You know one of those mini-bibles, I like to keep one in my glove box.

Mark: Why on earth would anyone keep a bible in their car?

Me: For times like this, I might forget by the time we get home and I want to know what verse that is and figure out why they would have it on their license plate.


I did remember the verse and for those who want to know it is Rom 8:18.

Also, I do have a little bible in my car, I double checked. It is a brown one, but for some reason I thought it was green, I always remember them being green. Oh well...if you need a bible on the fly just ask me.

Having lunch out

I try to take Maddy out to eat lunch at least once a week. It is good for appropriate social interactions and discussions about what we see. One of the restaurants we like is a Japanese Steakhouse where you sit at a table with other people. I have heard some interesting conversations during these lunches.

First we have the Mother and Son that are having lunch together. She complains about everything on the menu, how they are cooking it and then decides that she just won't eat but take it all to go with her.

The other day we had the group of young business men who very much wanted to be important and to have everyone look at them. For some odd reason they decided the best way to do this was to talk about getting drunk, picking up chicks, gambling and dropping the "F-bomb" quite loudly.

Then there was the pregnant lady who really wanted to go eat pancakes and her partner thought that was too silly and no one ever eats pancakes for lunch. She only mumbled about how much better pancakes would be for half the meal.

Today we got to enjoy the two friends who decided that it was Saki Tuesday! As the Saki flowed we got to learn about what kind of lady the unmarried friend was looking for. Along with that we enjoyed a description of every female that walked through the restaurant.

I wonder if some one out there is blogging about the goofy conversations that Maddy and I have during lunch? Be careful out there...someone might be posting your lunch topics!!

Lunch conversation

Today at lunch the kiddo and I are talking about music. She loves music and so it is a topic of conversation quite often. We started with American Idol, the contestants and then the themes every week. She asked about the music that was on the radio the year she was born and the year I was born. We decided to look it up on the internet when we got home.

She then mentioned that "Banma" (my Mom) does not listen to the radio in her car, she listens to audio books. I told her that when I was growing up and going places with my mom we did not listen to the radio, we listened to classical music. After she stopped making horrible faces of torture she said, "Well at least you had your I-Pod you could listen to music on".

When I told her that I-Pods did not exist when I was growing up she looks at me with great sympathy in her eyes and states, "Oh my God Mom, it was so hard for you when you were growing up!"