Middle age

The hubby had a birthday this week and I have one in May.  We are now in our middle 40's.  Over the past few weeks I have heard about people we know and it is so surprising to me that how different our lives are from those around us.

In the past month I have been told about two people who have just gone off the deep end crazy ,one suicide attempt and one divorce.  I wonder what is it that causes this kind of change.  On the flip side I see via Face Book a lot of people who are taking up marathons and long distance biking.  This I can understand and I am now also in a phase to try to whip this body back into shape.  However I am pretty sure I will not be taking my exercise to marathon level.

Even though I am trying to eat better, exercise more and overall be a better person I don't think is has to do with my age.  I am doing these things for me, for my family and because I have known I needed to do it for a long, long time.

I am happy to report that I am very happy with my life, family, marriage and even though I complain once in a while I am happy to have work to do in addition to running the house.  I stay very busy with things that I need to do and things that Maddy has to do.  Maybe that is the difference?  We are all very busy and that requires us to  pitch in and help each other out.  The family that works non-stop stays together?

Self esteem and respect are the keys for me.  We all have it for each other and ourselves in my house.  Is that the combination other people are missing?  While my heart hurts for these people, I am thankful that I am not even close to being able to understand why or how for them.

I hope that everyone reading this is happy and healthy.  Think something nice about yourself and say something nice to someone around you.

This and That

Basically have a whole bunch of nothing for today.

Happy to say that we are staying warm in the non-snow event we had here.  Weeks like this just zap my energy and I want to sleep all day.  I am going to attempt today to take a nap. 


Out of the blue I heard from someone from my past.  It was good and disturbing both to hear from them.  It seems that the home life is not good at all. Guess they just needed someone to talk to. Their spouse has taken mid-life crisis to a whole new level and I spend the better part of 45 minute with my mouth agape at the stories.  It got me thinking a bit and the hubby and I are such low key peeps, I wonder if I got the call because they knew I would not have any drama, trauma, or crisis to bend their ear about.  


This weekend I guess there is some sort of football game on the TV.  We typically go over to a friends house for part of the game.  Maddy wants to go up to the church and watch the game with all the other high school kiddos.  I am sure it has nothing to do with the BF being there.  I think it is good that she is trying new things and so thankful that the environment at the church is so open and loving that she can spend and evening with high school kids around her age and I don't have to worry.

We are almost done with our Girl Scout Cookie stint.  The hubby was wonderful and took the sign up sheet to his work.  Maddy is in a small troop that is just special needs kiddos and they go do something fun and social every month.  They went to a small theater to see a play this month and she came home smiling and talked about it for days.  The cast signed the playbill for the girls and Maddy loves to show off that she is the only one that someone wrote Princess Maddy.

I have made posts before about how Maddy is constantly showered with presents from people just because. It almost happened again.  We were at the restaurant we eat at almost once a week (free plug for Carrabbas Grill here) and the owner asked if Maddy was an Edward fan or a Jacob fan.  He said that the Blockbuster that is shutting down had a large framed picture of Jacob and he almost bought it for her, but then remembered she liked Edward. 

Toward the end of last year Maddy asked me if we could start doing her monthly newsletter again.  This is something I did our first year of homeschooling.  It gave her motivation to write and be accepting of my "editing" her writing.  It challenged her to be creative and she loved hearing from people when the received her newsletter.  This week we sat down and got the January newsletter done.  She had several stories she had written during the month so we had plenty to choose from.  Many days I would ask what she was doing and she would call down, writing up something for the news letter.  This time around she had better ideas of what to put in the newsletter and the content. 

While we working on the news letter she decided she wanted part of it to be an advice column so we have asked all the readers to send in questions for Maddy to answer.  So far we have received some great and funny questions.  I am considering video taping Maddy answering the questions so we can see her reactions to them.  I have not told her any of the questions so it will be a true reaction and response.  This will mean more work on my part, but I think everyone will love it including Maddy.

If you are just a blog reader, but would like to receive Maddy's newsletter send me and e-mail at ja_davidson@yahoo.com and I will add you to the distribution list.

Stay warm where ever you are and I think I will look out the window one more time to see if the snow they promised magically appeared.

Excuses and Bad Habits

Excuses and bad habits suck.  I have both of them haunting me right now and I don't like it because I only have myself to blame.  Won't someone step up and take the blame for me?? 

I have stopped exercising and fallen back into trying to hoard "me" time.  I think it started when the work on the website kicked into full swing here at the house. (Shameless plug #99: Check out www.saveonbrew.com) When I started having to "work" again I fell back into habits I had when I used to work outside the house. 

My sense of balance became all askew and I focused so hard on getting the projects and tasks done I let everything else fly out the window.  The good news is that I did not put on any weight, however I did not lose any weight either. 

I now have a better sense of balance of what needs to be done, when to do it, I have the house back in shape and refuse to have excuses to keep me from exercising.  I am glad I am aware of the bad habit, but I wish I had not let it sneak up on me.

Enough with the whining and moaning and off to exercise for an hour!

Things I ponder

Hello there blog, nice to see you are still here. Lately I have been pondering blog writing, why people do it,why I read the blogs I read, and why I write a blog. However, I suppose since I have not written much I have pondered when I don't write as well.

Mostly I don't write because I don't put the butt in the chair and the fingers to the keyboard. Lately I seem to feel that I need to have a story to tell or something cute to say. When I get busy with life I feel like I have nothing to say so I don't.

I am going to try to write every morning before I get the day going and see what happens. Who knows what sort of rambling I will come up with. I sort of have an idea for tomorrow morning but for now here are things that make me ponder.

* Am I the only one in the world who uses a dust buster and lint brush on my comforter to get dog hair off it?

*Who decided it was a good idea to hire people to hold up a sign for their business or twirl the sign around? Was there a survey and people consistently said that they would not be tempted to visit places unless they were entertained at a stop light by a "sign show"?

*How could the Texans lose this weekend. I mean really? I could have made that last play and not lost!!

*Why are their already houses with full Christmas lights and decorations? I LOVE Christmas but their are rules that must be followed or it becomes Christmas chaos!

RIP Robert Schimmel

You were one funny dude. Grateful the hubby and I were able to see you in concert a couple of times.

Sending thoughts and prayers to your family.

Yes Virginia, there is a Jennifer

I am such a slave to routine and schedules that when they get mixed up it takes me forever to get everything back in line.

We have been so very busy here that I have not taken the time to blog at all. I find time to read blogs, but not to write one.

I declare myself back in action and almost new routine set.

Things I have done and are doing:

*Went to Europe for two weeks, yes it was awesome sauce

*Read the Hubby's new script and thinks he will get some good responses out in LA from it

*Hubby goes to LA soon for meeting and gets to meet his agents at UTA

*Oct. 19th Lost Tribe comes out on DVD. I have not seen it so I can't tell you if it is good or not. What I know is that the Hubby's name is in the credits!!

*Our SaveonBrew website should go live in Texas this week or next. We have put a ton of time and effort into this. Can't wait to see it launch!

*Making time every day to exercise and I love the way I feel when I do

*Everyone here is healthy and happy

How do you eat an elephant?

This is what the hubby asked me yesterday when I was stressing about not being able to get everything done at once.

He and I both (him more than myself) have a lot on our plates right now. Our to-do lists are rather large and they are not items that you can multi-task and get more than one thing done at a time.

If I spend the day taking care of the house, errands and laundry then I don't get the website work done, the research I need for a potential procedure for Maddy, or the filing updated and organized. If I choose any of the other things, then everything else has to be put aside.

I am also starting to mentally prepare to be gone for the month of July. I have two completely different types of vacations I have to get everything done for. I have to pre-plan for my trip to Europe since I will have approximately 3.5 days to get everything ready when we return from the family vacation.

When I start feeling to overwhelmed, I remember how you eat an elephant, take a deep breath and pick one item and get to work. The rest will be waiting for my return.

If you don't know how to eat an elephant it is actually quite simple. One bite at a time.

This and That

Happy weekend Blog world!

During the days, I have little things happen and I think what a great blog post that would be. I get home and by the time I can sit down to try to write about it other things have happened or I just plain forget was was so great about what I wanted to write. When I have those kind of weeks I have decided to post random things that have occurred.

Glimpses of Maddy

Last night Maddy and I did some volunteer work at the church thrift shop. The volunteer work part was good, but during this time I was able to see glimpses of Maddy that really made me smile. Maddy and I are together all the time and no matter who you are when your Mom is around you are just a little (or in some cases a lot) different than when you are on your own. This is a group of kids and adults Maddy is very comfortable with. During dinner and while working at the thrift store I let Maddy do what she wanted and made sure that I was in a different area. Throughout the evening I was able to watch her deal with kids and adults her way. She was charming, funny and a joy to be around. She was comfortable with who she was and laughed a sweet, innocent laugh most of the evening. I was a proud parent last night.


I am such a rebel

I am a rule follower so I tend to be an accidental rebel. While filling out the census I realized halfway through that I was putting check marks in the boxes instead an "x". Fear me!!

Prom

Maddy had her second prom at the church last weekend. This year she knew enough people that she was really looking forward to it. Her "boyfriend?" was beaming and she was able to spend the evening with a "date" and it was funny to watch her tell him to bug off when she wanted to be with her other friends.

My mom came with us this year and took us out to a lovely dinner beforehand. Maddy loved having her Banma there and I know that mom enjoyed the evening as much as we did. Having my mom there this year made it more special. Can't wait for next year!

How to give small town directions

The idea for this blog came to me last night after speaking with my father. My family is working out the finer details for the family reunion this year and a location had been decided on. During the conversation my father decided to give me directions to the new location and his directions were exactly how anyone who grew up in small town would give them.

If you want to crash our family reunion, here are the directions he gave me. Go on the road headed towards the castle, keep on that road until you get to where I showed you Aunt Jenny's old house. Now there is not much left to that house, but by where her house used to be, turn on that road and just go a little bit further.

When I was growing up we gave directions by town landmarks, even if the landmark was no longer there. If you were not from the town we were not much help because well you should know where cemetery hill was.

These are the landmarks I would still use if I had to give directions in my home town today and I bet few of them are still around.

Big Star, Cemetery Hill, Dairy Queen, the Walker's house (now this is the loop), city pool and the park.

Time

Time means something different for everyone, but there are two basic camps when it comes to time.

The first camp thinks time is like a big project for school or work. You want it correct, punctual and early seems like a bonus. People who are in this camp can vary how important it is to be punctual. I was a more moderate person in this camp. I preferred the 5-10 minutes early. People used to joke that if I arrived exactly on time I was 10 minutes late. My grandfather however was a bit of an extremist in the punctual camp. We all decided as a family that everyone needed to tell him that things started an hour later than they really did. He was a show up a couple of hours early kinda guy.


The second camp when it comes to time are the people who see time as a suggestion or guideline. These are the people who will show up but you just never know when. They don't rush in with reason for the tardiness, they just stroll in and seem pleased that they made it to the location within what they consider a reasonable time frame.


My life has recently forced me out of the punctual camp and on the fringes of the tardy folks. When my Mom called recently to make sure I was alright because I was not at the restaurant on time I had to assure her all was fine. That is when I realized that because of Maddy time has become a guideline not a deadline for me.


While pondering this I realized what Salvador Dali was portraying in this picture.


He obviously had a good friend that had a teenage girl. I don't think the girl would even have to be special needs. The picture depicts when parents, as well as time, finally gave up the fight, wilted and surrendered to the girl. I am not sure if it depicts defeat or survival by surrendering their timeframe to teen girl time. However, I am pretty sure it is a statement of survival!

Would you save a life if you could?

The hubby a friend and I were watching an episode of Nip/Tuck the other night. We are watching all the seasons on DVD so this is not the current season. In the episode one of the characters needed a kidney. The question came up would you donate your kidney to someone? Both the boys kinda hesitated and had certain scenarios in which they would. I just said yes I would no problem.

This conversation got me thinking. Would I really give a kidney that I might need later to someone I don't know? I would like to think so, but that is a scary step to take. Would I give a kidney to someone I know, heck ya. Why the difference in hesitation? Is it because I have a connection to that person? Is is because I want to know how my internal organ is being treated? Is it the fear of the procedure or that I don't have the option to say in a few years just kidding I want it back?

A few days after that episode I saw on a local TV show about two people who are survivors because of bone marrow donations. The procedure to donate is fairly non invasive and the need is huge for bone marrow donors. To be placed on the registry is very easy as well. You go to the website, request a kit, give a donation if you want and then you cotton swab your cheeks and send it back to them postage paid.

I can be on the list until I am 60 so that gives me a good number of years to try to save someone's life. I encourage everyone to take the step I did and check out Be the Match.

Bejewled is evil and other observations

I have hardly been home these past two weeks so I have not had time to think of a blog post or make the time to write one. I do have a few things in mind and hope to get to them soon. Until then here are a few observations I have made over the past couple of weeks.

1. Bejeweled is evil. I have just started playing this silly game and it has killed my productivity. I walk by the computer and think one game what will it hurt. However it seems I need to play one game every freaking time I walk by my computer.

2. Greed is bad in any form. Greed over money, time, friendships or feelings all lead to no good. Giving is so much better.

3. I am the worst mom in the whole wide world and web. We are still having text issues so now every night at 9:00 I ruin her life and take her phone away.

4. I am the best, coolest , most awesome mom ever! It looks like I have secured tickets for her to see Justin Bieber at the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo.

5. Hoping for an actual Spring this year and hope we don't just jump into summer.

6. Still exercising twice a day and loving it. So far I am a pound ahead of my goal.

7. The pile by my desk just keeps getting bigger and bigger. If Bejeweled will let me I plan to work on that later today.

8. Through Facebook I have reconnected with a lot of friends I had lost touch with. Last night one of my best friends in high school found me. I want to know everything that has happened in his life since I saw him last. How can you possibly catch up on everything that has happened in 25 years?

What are you doing with your time?

Forgive me, I have been a bit reflective these past few weeks. I guess since the weather is not conducive for outside spring cleaning I am doing a bit of spring cleaning of the soul.

Three years ago I would have been counting down the days to Spring Break and then to the end of the school year. I worked, took care of what Maddy needed and then basically did nothing. That "nothing" was my time and I was very protective of it. I wanted to do nothing and sadly that is how I spent that time. My wants not my needs controlled my time management.

Now my life is considerably different and significantly better. I stay at home with Maddy full time and take care of her education, provide her with an appropriate social life, run the house, make sure the hubby has what he needs for his jobs, enjoy the dog, spend time with friends, etc. Each day is filled with so many opportunities I have shifted and now I manage my time and decide how my day will be spent.

The same opportunities were there three years ago, but I was so trapped in myself and "my time" that I could not or would not spend my time that way. I am a happier and healthier person than I was three years ago.

Even though I am busier than I was back in my working days, I continue to find ways to volunteer for church and Special Olympics. This year I have already spent more time with friends in two months than I did that last year of my working. I exercise at least 5 days a week.

We all have reasons or excuses for not doing things we should and we all need downtime, but if you take some of "your" time and give it to others it will be so much more rewarding. Take and hour or two a week and spend it with a friend in need, volunteer in the community or just take care of yourself by exercising. Time spend this way will leave you much more satisfied than if you had just vegged on the couch or in front of the computer.

I continue to look at my day and how I will spend my time and hopefully I can continue to improve my life and the life of those around me. Hopefully you will do the same and share your experiences with me.

Friendship

I have been thinking about friendships a lot lately and how they change over the years. What qualifies as a friendship? When does an acquaintance become a friend and why do friends fade out of your life?

Is friendship like a garden that needs constant care and attention? I don't think so, but there is definite work in keep a friendship active. More recently I have seen the relationships I have with friends change due to changes in their personal lives. I have recently become more distant with one friend and an old friend has come back into my life.

The hubby and I are the sanctuary for our friends. We are a place to come for a meal, an evening or to live with us if they need. Some of these people are in our lives for most of the time and others we only hear from when they are in need. Are some friends better than others? I don't think so...

Can you be friends with people you have never met? I used to think this could be, but have recently changed my view on this. With the internet you can now communicate and become a blip in peoples lives, but I don't think that qualifies for true friendship. I think the face to face is important to grow and nurture the relationship.

What about the person you might only see once or twice a year, but you know you could call on them for anything. Are they less of a friend than the person you see every week/month? I don't think so, but which relationship is stronger?

There seem to be more questions than answers for me when it comes to friendship. I have decided that friendship lives in the heart. As things change in our lives the world finds a way to put the right people at the front of the heart when they need you or you need them the most.

Superbowl Weekend

I know quite a few people who are gearing up for big parties this weekend. According to FaceBook some of my friends have begun decorating their houses today for the game on Sunday.

The hubby and I are not big sports people. In our house we have Masters Weekend, that is the big sports day for us. The hubby also enjoys watching baseball, but it is usually on the bottom corner of his computer so he can work while watching/listening to the game.

This year like most years we will go to a friends house for the first half of the game. They always have a big family party that we some how manage to get invited to every year.

My hope is that everyone has a great time, is safe and that the game is good. Don't forget to watch all the commercials as well!!

The year is over, what did I waste it on?

Well here we are at the end of another year. It was a good year, I was productive, the kiddo matured and learned things so I suppose I will call it a success.

Highlights of the year in no particular order:

We laughed a lot! We laughed at movies, each other and the great sense of humor and crack up things Maddy says.

Bruiser has firmly taken charge of the house and we are all better for it.

This year I made more time for friends and fun. Lunches out and spending time with friends is always a priority now. I hope to do it even more next year.

Maddy has really come a long way. She is more confident, she has matured, and she found a friend. I can honestly say that Maddy has better peer groups, more positive activities, and real friendships. This is not something she had in public school.

I went to Vegas twice! Once with the husband and once with my Mom. Both trips were great. I really hope that the hubby and I can spend more time away just the two of us.

Hanging in our computer room is a movie poster with the hubby's name on it. Movie not released yet, but another step closer to his goal. Progress was made this year and soon all his hard work should pay off.

I am able to stay at home and we don't have to eat mac and cheese and beans and rice for dinner every night. This was a good year for us and I think that 2010 will be an even better one.

Happy New Years to all!!

When I think too much

Today Maddy has her eye doctor appointment. There was a time when she saw this doctor once a month. He has performed 3 eye surgeries and made a huge difference in the alignment of her eyes. Dr. Mazow is truly a blessing in our lives. We are now and have been down to once a year visits with him. He is on the verge of retirement and only does follow up visits with certain patients and we are lucky enough to be one of the few. There will be a day when he gives us the name of someone else to do the yearly check up.

As much as he has made a difference in our lives, I worry about the appointment today. He will want to dilate her eyes to get the best information possible. I have to be strong and not let Maddy know that I will be worried the whole time. Last time her eyes were dilated she had a seizure later that day. It could have been coincidence or it could have triggered the seizure I don't really know. Last year when we went for the appointment I would not let them dilate her eyes.

This year I have decided that we need to do what the doctor asks so that we can get the best information from the eye exam. If we have a seizure later today we will deal with it, we always do.

Mostly I need to remember to think positive and not dwell on something that happened a few years ago.

The problem with good students

Maddy is a good student. Maddy was an excellent student in public school. Maddy did not learn much in public school. Make sense? No? Let me explain.

I was a teacher of both regular education and special education. I did my best to not do what I will describe below. I am sure that once in a while I probably did. Even the best teachers I am sure have fallen into this pattern. A struggling teacher probably will use it to survive.

Maddy loves to do book work and teachers loved her for it. When you have a class full of students both regular and special education you try to find what will work for everyone. The problem is when you have a special needs kid that will sit quietly and do book work you forget to check for understanding and comprehension.

This week Maddy was doing some English worksheets I watched her work while I cleaned the kitchen. She was so quiet and looked so studious. It has taken me over a year but she will now ask me when she is not sure of how to do something or if she needs more instructions. She has learned that I will not pat her on the head and say good job without checking over all her work. She has learned that if I explain how to do something and she decides to do something else she will be required to re-do the work.

These habits were all formed in public school. She would be told to circle things and she would decided she wanted to underline the items. Instead of being told she had not completed the assignment correctly she was told good job, you tried!! In more classes than I care to admit her education consisted of copying key terms. She would be given a list of words and then sit in class and copy the definition from the glossary. Maddy no longer asks me if she can do key terms, she has learned (no pun intended here) that copying from a book is only good for improving handwriting.

Posts like these make be thankful and angry. I am so thankful that I have the ability to do what is right by my child. It makes me angry that the public school system is going in the wrong direction for special needs kiddos. It makes me angry that parents don't care enough to get involved and become a voice for their kids and demand that schools educate and that parents parent.

Complete Randomness

We should be back to a somewhat normal routine here which means I hope to post again on a regular basis.

While I was gone we had almost the entire downstairs floor replaced. What fun..dust and more dust everywhere!

I discovered that the Yankee Candle I bought does not smell as good as I thought it would. Now that it has been used, I can't give as a gift and how do you give a candle to someone saying I hated the way it smells, maybe you will like it? The best course of action I have decided is to put it in the guest house and use it there. This way I don't waste it and it can help keep that little house spruced up.

Maddy has joined Girl Scouts so in addition to all our Church activities we have more places to be and things to do. She has a bigger social life now that she ever had in public school!

The husband is headed back out to LA at the end of the month for some meetings. He has some exciting stuff lined up and we hope it will bring some paying work and some great new contacts.

Our dog has taken over the bed. I need to find my backbone and re-train him to sleep on his bed. Last night I had to fight the dog for my freaking pillow!

The husband and I have been playing 1vs100. It has been a fun way to spend the evenings playing trivia and working the brain a little bit. I am amazed at what we know and things we should know. We are now waiting for the game to come out of Beta and start the new season. If we win big I will let you know.

Gonna live life, not write about it!

Howdy all..gonna take a few days off the blog.

Today is the hubby and my 17th wedding anniversary so I plan to hang out with him so we can talk about how wonderful those years have been and what we plan to do for the next 17.

The weekend is all about Maddy so I will be busy hauling her all over the place.


On Monday Maddy and I get back to our home school schedule so we will both need a few days to adjust.


Hope everyone has a great weekend..I am gonna grab a beer and relax while can!